Clavis Aurea’s Weblog

Kat’s dad – a terrorist

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: November 20, 2008

In: General
Leave a Comment

I was discussing with my friend about Kat’s work in Khwaab dekhe joote from Race. The convo…

Indira: if you get a chance watch that song on youtube
Indira: love the steps
Indira: and Katrina is great
Edward Rumpelstiltskin: Katrina Kaif’s father is a terrorist
Indira: really??
Edward Rumpelstiltskin: yeah he created a bombshell
Indira: but you can’t judge her based on her dad’s deeds na
Indira: she did her job well
Edward Rumpelstiltskin: she is a bombshell and he created her!!!!
Indira: hahaha

Desi grind!

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: October 26, 2008

In: Uncategorized
Leave a Comment

Last Friday I finally went to a night club in London. Thanks to Avi. He arranged for one of his friends to take me out. Big thanks to you re.

The idea of dressing up was more appealing to me than being at a night club, as it’s been ages since I dressed up for an evening. I got ready before time (for once) and was about to step out when this guy called and asked me to start 15 mins later. So I waited and left from home at around 8:30 PM.

It was odd to walk out alone in the night (it’s getting dark early these days), especially being decked up. Anyway, so I reached Leicester Square at 9:15 PM. Harsha was waiting for me at VUE cinemas. He was so anxious to take me to a good place that he even did some online research to find out the most happening and decent club. Sweet chap!

According to Harsha’s research, SOUND was one of the places to be at on a Friday night. We paid the entry fee and took the stairs. The club is on two floors, 3rd and 4th. 3rd has a dance floor with DJ console and a bar, while 4th has a cloak counter, a bar, it was more like a lounge. We had to drop our coats at the cloak section so decided to sit in the lounge on the 4th floor, from where we could see the dance floor below. It was about 9:30 PM. There was hardly anyone around.

We ordered our drinks and started some conversation. The music was nice – it was an R&B night. As time passed, the crowd started picking up. The dance floor started filling in. At some point I would have wanted to go to dance floor if I hadn’t observed the peculiar behavior of some desi guys.

They target some white girls (mostly – otherwise they are okay with whatever came their way) and go dance close to them. If the girl is drunk enough, the guys will have an elephant’s luck. There was this pretty white girl dancing wildly. I spot two desis around her like bees, one a sardar and the other seemed like a gujju. Gujju is better looking of the two and younger too. Has his hair spiked and dressed up like an R&B artist. Sardar on the other hand, was short, stout, no sense of fashion whatsoever. Obviously the girl was brushed around by both, but she notices only the gujju, wouldn’t blame her, the sardar was half her size, too difficult for her drunken self to spot him.

The gujju guy grabs the chance – in hindi you’d say chance pe dance, but it wasn’t just dance, he did much more than that, literally made out there!! For obvious reasons I can’t include the details here. I was too disgusted to watch it anyway. Then some sane friends of her pulled her away from that guy and started dancing somewhere else, the gujju was playing it safe but the sardar wasn’t. He wasn’t lucky enough to kiss or do anything to the girl, so kept moving with the girl to get one golden opportunity.

Then few more Indian guys joined the floor and all had the same behaviour. I felt like burying them in the ground or myself and not watch it. By then it was time to push, I had no enthu to stay back. I just couldn’t identify with those guys. I have so many friends living abroad but I really hope none behaves like this, or may be I wouldn’t be able to relate to them as well. I didn’t even know what you’d call this behaviour until an knowledgeable friend from US told me is called GRINDING.

This grinding done by guys is so different from the spices grinding that we Indians are known for! Does that make sense?? Whatever!

Soulful poem

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: October 26, 2008

In: Uncategorized
Leave a Comment

I heard a songbird sing today
A warbled song and away it flew
It touched my heart in a sweet new way
was that little songbird you?

I saw a fresh new raindrop fall
cool as the misty morning dew
It brought relief to a dry parched soul
was that fresh new raindrop you?

I touched a soft and silken rose
like scarlet gems of great value
It led my mind to calm repose
Was that soft, silken rose you?

I felt an angel touch my heart
Gave joy in exchange for my rue
I want to know who played the part
Was that lovely angel you?

What if?

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: July 1, 2008

In: General
Leave a Comment

What if you met someone who complements you in every possible way and enriches your life just by their presence?

What if you drank a lot on a Friday night, acted cranky and puked; and someone patiently cleans up after you and waits until you regain senses?

What if you woke up late one day and just didn’t feel like cooking; and someone understands the way you feel and fixes breakfast for you?

What if you just wanted to be by yourself even though you shared the same room with someone; and that person simply accepts your silence?

What if all you wanted to do was hold someone’s hand, sit quietly and enjoy the moment; and that person is empathetic to your needs?

What if you wanted to watch an out and out romantic drama as against a sports program; and someone readily sacrifices their favorite program for you?

What if you wanted to have a nice candle-light dinner at home instead of pub hopping; and someone loves the idea and helps you in preparing dinner?

What if you simply detested attending a family gathering due various reasons; and someone is so understanding to let go?

What if you found a person who appreciated every minutest thing you did?

What if days passed by without a single call from anyone and then someone special calls you, just in time, before you went into a depressive mode thinking no one missed you?

What if you were going through a real rough patch or just a bad day, felt lost or very miserable in life; and someone understands your body language and gives you warm bear hug?

What if you were in an ecstatic mood and behaved like a kid; and someone just joins the fun and nurtures that child in you?

What if you were always rude and ignorant towards a person, but that person just loved and loved you more in return?

What if someone surprises you by fulfilling their promises, without giving you a chance to remind them about it?

What if someone just heard and understood all your unspoken words?

What if??

‘You little monster’

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: June 23, 2008

In: Arbitrary
2 Comments

I look at your face and my heart melts, that pretty is your face. I find divinity and warmth in it, like the sunshine. I feel inexplicable forces within, which I never knew existed. Your presence makes the world a different place. Your smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. This is purely transcendental.

Then there are other times when I can feel the dark side of nature surfacing in you, not evil but ugly. Your anger shatters me, confuses me, and breaks me. I feel like my heart is breaking into zillion pieces and I have no control over it. The whole world appears to be collapsing right in front of me. Such is the agony I face.

You little monster, don’t you know anger is our real enemy?

Do things the way you are used to doing them!!

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: June 12, 2008

In: Arbitrary
Leave a Comment

It was a disastrous start of the week. I prepared for almost 4 days non-stop, scoring above 70% on all mock tests, reading some 3 big books; sleeping for almost 4 hrs a day and 2 hrs on the final day. When the time came to give the exam, I fainted!!! Everything blacked out.

Never was anything so stressful in life to me. Never really cared about my college exams. Don’t know why I developed so much pressure for this exam – may be because I invested so much of money or may be because I wanted to get relieved of it before I went to UK (because I didn’t know about the option of giving the test there) or may be because my future in a particular place will be set if I do this. Whatever be the reason, the pressure mounted, it mounted to such an extent that my body was just not listening to my mind and after sometime my mind dried up completely.

Still recovering from the stress and the bodily effects that took place, I’m still shocked that such a thing could happen to me. I mean I fainted many a time, in buses, while riding my bike, etc. but never for an exam.

Well, but I aint gonna give up!

Life – how valuable is it?

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: June 4, 2008

In: Life
Leave a Comment

At around 11 AM today, as I entered the lane leading to my workplace I found a big crowd. As I went closer I could hear women cry, something was wrong and I didn’t feel good. It wasn’t the best of feelings to have right when you are about to start a day at work. Later I learnt that one of the walls of the building next to ours has collapsed, killing 6 construction workers.

At the end of the day when I see around – life is normal, everyone is entangled in their own life. The builder who is already on the wrong side for illegal construction would have bribed the cops and other politicians and got away with it. At the max, he would have paid some 20-30 grand to deceased families. That’s where the stories end!

I guess in India the deaths of stray dogs cause more stir than death of a human, such is the value of human life.

What goes around, comes around…

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: December 2, 2007

In: Behavioural
Leave a Comment

Listening to the bustling sound of the city from the windows of my computer room, with a strong coffee in my hand; I feel happy that I’ve achieved something. Every week day, I’d think of spending the weekend in a laid back manner, relaxed in a rocking chair and sipping hot coffee; finally I did it today. So much time for myself to unwind and rewind.

Since morning, I have been thinking of one thing in particular – what goes around, comes around. I’m not sure if this is a part of science which says every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

When I was in a difficult relationship, I used to look at my colleagues who have called off their relationship for some reason best known to them; and think – God, when I can handle my bad relationship, why can’t they? In the following years it so happened that I had to call off my relationship. May be that experience brought some sense to me, I resolved not to be judgemental about anything. Not that I am completely non-judgemental now, but I try brushing off such thoughts as soon as they arise.

Very recently I met a long lost friend of mine. As we met up – we shared the events and experiences of our lives. He mentioned he went through a rough patch in his life. He loved a girl and wanted to marry her. In the process, he met her parents and expressed his desire. The parents questioned about his community (both belong to different castes) and his ability to take care of her. They promptly started looking out for a suitable groom for that girl within their community. Her parents’ act of looking for a groom even after knowing that she’s involved with this guy, their inability to look beyond caste, her inability to stand by him; made my friend break down – he started hating the entire community. He was down for a long time until he met another girl, belonging to a different caste again. To take their relationship to the next step, he told his parents about his decision to marry her. This time it so turned out that his parents acted like the parents of his ex.

The thing is, when our own people react in a way that we’d condemn if others did; we tend to act blind or not reason it out. It was the same case with this guy as well, he felt his parents had every right to worry and ponder about their relationship. He is again dissatisfied and unhappy because he feels the girl is not very understanding. I was left wondering, if the girl should start hating his community for the way he and his parents behaved – the same way that he feels about his ex’s community?

Parents are someone whom we look up to since childhood, but we have to understand that sometimes they lose out their reasoning skills because of their possessiveness. Their hatred towards someone/something leads to kids following them and their kids and so on. This reminds me of an age-old Telugu adage ‘neetulu itharulaku’, which means it is easy to preach but difficult to practice.

I kept thinking, why are we so judgmental and why don’t we search within ourselves for answers before developing hatred or hurting someone with our mindless thinking? One person’s hatred harbours someone else’s hatred. If everyone keeps hating each other’s community, where will it lead us to? When will our communal problems get solved? When will we have a peaceful, grudge-free world?

Imagine if this is how educated people like us behave, what would be the mental state of an illiterate person??

Deepavali – festival of lights

Posted by: Clavis Aurea - the golden key! on: November 13, 2007

In: Society's cause
6 Comments

You must be thinking why use ‘Deepavali’ when we can say Diwali. It has nothing to do with North and South differences that prevail in India. The word ‘Diwali’ is a corrupt word of the sanskrit word ‘ Deepavali’. Deepavali means ‘light of dharma’ (deepa) that continues in a line (avali) – a more literal translation, ‘rows of clay lamps’.

Anyway, coming back to my story – I missed this festival last year as I was away from home so I was all excited about being home for this year’s Deepavali. I thought it will be fun-filled, with lots of lights and flowers around. The ambience and atmosphere will be like that of a temple – peaceful and meditative. What happened in actual was a far cry from what I presumed would happen. Come evening, it felt like I was in a battlefield. I had to put wads of cotton in my ears and sit in a corner, irritated because that didn’t help in anyway. For God’s sake, it is a festival of lights, not noise and pollution.

The main philosophy of this festival is that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman (our soul). Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Deepavali is the celebration of this Inner Light, in particular the knowing of which outshines all darkness (removes all obstacles and dispels all ignorance), awakening ourselves to our true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With the realization of the inner-self comes universal compassion, love, and the awareness of the oneness of all things. This brings Ananda (Inner Joy or Peace).

In general, darkness represents ignorance, and light a metaphor for knowledge. Therefore, lighting a lamp symbolizes the destruction, through knowledge, of all negative forces- wickedness, violence, lust, anger, envy, greed, fear, injustice, oppression and suffering, etc.

I will not get into the details of the meditation stuff but the reference of inner-self and other profound words has been used to understand the true nature of the festival. Just to remind you that we cannot awaken our inner-self with so much of noise around, it requires peaceful and agreeable surroundings.

So please say no to crackers, our families will follow suit, gradually everyone will. You will be surprised to know that Tamil Nadu government has already put some restrictions on firecrackers production. They have banned production of any firecracker that exceeds 125 decibels noise/sound level. This will, however not bring about much change because like we had access to illegal liquor during prohibition time, there will be illegal firecrackers sold even now. This change can happen through us. We are educated; we can make a difference and make our cities/our country a better place to live. Let’s lead India – please consider it as our duty, don’t dream of some political party bringing about the change without our initiation.

This is just a suggestion, if you like it please practice it. If you do not like it, we hope you will sometime soon – until then, everytime you burst crackers think about the tiny tot next door who gets frightened by the noise and cries all night through, or about the old couple that live in your neighbourhood whose heart is so weak that it may skip a beat everytime a ladi or an atom bomb is burst. You will realise that there is no greater happiness than making others happy.

I can understand that the young at heart would still want to do something more exciting, the romantic guys would want to watch the starry sky that becomes a canvas of shimmering glitters and sprakling lights. To achieve all this you don’t need firecrackers, instead opt for fireworks. Less child labour, less noise – more colours, more happiness.

Belated Deepavali greetings, hope you all have a great year ahead!